Move Review: Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides

Movies:  Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides
Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush
Director: Rob Marshall

I guess it says a lot about a movie when I can't even get up enough excitement to write a review. It's hard to analyze a movie that is neither good or bad, but merely exists. To sum up my feelings about this film, I just say "meh".

The acting is good from Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush, as usual. Depp seems a bit calmer and more level-headed in this sequel, which does take a bit of the fun away, but he still gives us a charming performance. Rush is still in fine form and Barbossa, who is bent on revenge over his lost leg.

Everyone else just seems to be phoning it in. Penelope Cruz, for how much men foam at the mouth over her, was not very interesting or charismatic. Her main role was to wear low-cut pirate corsets and speak with a (what I can only guess is supposed to be) a sexy accent. In truth, her lines were incoherent and mumbled. Her chemistry with Depp was also non-existent - a huge problem when this is supposed to be the only woman Sparrow has ever had feelings for. The lack of oomph merely accentuated Keira Knightly's absence as a woman who actually had some rapport with Jack.

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Movie Review - The Tourist

Train Scene from The Tourist

The Tourist (Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany. Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck


Angelina Jolie plays Elise, the girlfriend of a notorious thief named Alexander Pearce. Pearce stole billions of dollars from a ruthless casino owner named Shaw and disappeared, leaving Elise for two years. While in Paris, and being followed by police, she receives a note from Alex telling her to take a train and pretend that someone on it is him. This is supposed to serve simply as a distraction by drawing the police’s attention to an innocent bystander, but the plan gets out of hand when the tourist named Frank (Depp) is mistaken by Shaw as the real Pearce and hunted. Along the way, Elise tries her hardest to remove Frank from the fray.

The movie was panned by most critics for the lack of chemistry between Jolie and Depp but I really think they were expecting too much. They have just enough chemistry to make us believe these two people just met and are tentatively drawn to each other for various reasons. No, the screen doesn’t literally explode, but I really don’t think that is the point of the movie.

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The 2011 Movie Previews The Best & Worst Upcoming Films

The Most Anticipated Films of 2011

Jude Law & Robert Downey Jr On Set

Noomi Rapace New Female Lead

Mycroft Holmes

Professor Moriarty

Movie: Sherlock Holmes (Untitled)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law (Rumored), Rachel McAdams (rumored).
Director: Guy Ritchie
Release Date: December 16th 2011

It looks like everyone is back on board for the sequel to 2009's Sherlock Holmes which is good news. Although rumor has it that Rachel McAdam's character Irene Adler has only a minor role in this film and the lead female role is given to Noomi Rapace from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The first film was quite good except for the actual mystery which was underwhelming. It looks as if Sherlock Holmes will be matched against his arch rival Professor Moriaty (played by Jared Harris). Also, it seems we'll get to see Holme's brother Mycroft Holmes (played by Stephen Fry from V For Vendetta). He is the older brother (by seven years) of the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. Possessing deductive powers exceeding even those of his younger brother, Mycroft is nonetheless incapable of performing detective work similar to that of Sherlock since he is unwilling to put in the physical effort necessary to bring cases to their conclusions. Guy Ritchie is back on as Director so we should be seeing more of the hard hitting style that made the first Sherlock Holmes such a success.

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Movie Review: Alice In Wonderland - All Style, No Wonder

Movie: Alice In Wonderland 2010
Starring: Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway.

There is no doubt that director Tim Burton has his own unique visual style. That style seems like a perfect match for a story like Alice In Wonderland. Unfortunately this movie spends way too much time getting the style right and ignores things like developing an interesting plot or clever characters. It's as if they are trying to see what would happen if Wonderland were devoid of charm and wit. In this story, which is part remake and part sequel Alice is a teenage girl in 1865 who is about to be forced into marriage. She also has been having "dreams" of a magical land called Wonderland. Alice is  a bit awkward and doesn't quite fit in with the rest of society. During a party she again travels to Wonderland through the rabbit hole. Only this time Wonderland is in trouble and needs to be saved from the Red Queen.

In this way Alice is not really exploring Wonderland and meeting new characters instead the movie relies on the audience's previous knowledge from other films and the book. We are made to believe these characters are interesting and clever but the movie lazily avoids having to develop any of this itself. For example when Alice meets the Mad Hatter it is only because of the visuals and our previous knowledge that we know he is mad at all. It's as if by putting Johnny Depp in a funny costume they thought they had created a character. For someone who is "mad" it is odd that he doesn't have one clever line in the whole film.

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Pirates of the Caribean: Legend of 10 Wasted Dollars

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly

Okay, let me start off by saying I was not much of a fan of the original Pirates of Caribean. It was okay but I felt it could have been done much better with a few minor tweaks. Going into the second film I thought perhaps they might change a few of the things from the first film to really improve upon it. Mostly though they just lazily coast by on the success of the first film here.

One of the things they didn't change was the overlong running time, maybe it's just me but a movie really has to have some sort of substance to keep your attention for two hours and thirty minutes. Believe me there is no substance here, none of the returning characters have changed in any way and the new characters motivations are never fully explained.

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